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Grieving the loss of a significant person in one’s life is an indescribable pain that cuts through and incises every part of one’s inner being. In fact, the physical expression of one in mourning is that of an open wound calling out in anguish. Likewise, to those who condole, dealing with the bereaved is difficult. No amount of words and actions will make the bereaved feel better for nothing can make the beloved’s dead come back to life.

How does one prepare for the searing ache and loss that comes with the death of a beloved? Paradoxically, the Lord in His wisdom prepares us for it every day of our life. Each day we experience losses – all kinds, from the minuscule to the enormous in everyday life. It could be the loss of a very special toy, book, car or some other item we treasure. Moving out of a home, migrating to another country, transferring to another school or job, graduating from college, and closing a business are also examples of changes that we find ourselves having to get over. In fact, any end or change to a familiar pattern in life that is accompanied by some conflicting feeling of pain is a "loss" that we need to deal with. Thus, the more practice we give ourselves in letting go of losses and changes, the better prepared we would be for the death of a beloved.

However, the fact is that no matter how good we are at detachment and no matter how much we know about death, even in a spiritual light, the death of someone dear to us will stun and affect us in varying degrees.

How then does one mitigate the turmoil inside of us? There are several ways, but one is simply to face it head on and some say – savor – the pain. It is a sweet pain because it is connected with the one we love. What happens if we shelve it aside? It gets buried inside of us. The more we bury it, the deeper the pain. The deeper the pain, the more wounded we become. The more wounded we are, the more vulnerable we become to the complexity and travails of life – the more difficult it will be for us to recover.

Just as the dead find themselves "EMBRACING the Light" as they leave their physical being, we can become one with them by EMBRACING the ache inside of us and in the process welcome LIFE. In doing so, we will be closer to discovering the beauty and the goodness of life without our loved one.